Congratulations, Mama!

Today, I'm going to try really hard to not focus on my sadness. I'm going to try really hard to keep the tears in (the Lord knows I've cried enough already, enough is enough)! I am declaring here and now that this day will be filled with joy and positive thinking about how my precious angel is now one, is now a toddler, is going to continue getting older no matter how much I try to stop it.
So to help accomplish what I am declaring, I am going to give myself a little pat on the back. This whole week I have been focusing on how amazing Ella is and reflecting on all the amazing memories of this year and looking through all the pictures of when she was so tiny and how she grew, even watching some of our video of her from the last year. I have not stopped for one second to think about how far I have come and all that I have learned this last year. It blows my mind. Still at this time last year, 9:10 a.m., I had no idea how much I was going to learn. I did not grow up around babies, I think I had changed one diaper my entire life, I certainly had never fed a baby, and I had barely held any babies. And now being a mother is my obsession, it is every part of my being, mothering is seeping out of my pores. It's my constant thought and all of my energy. Considering where I came from last year, not knowing anything, to keeping my baby not only alive the whole year, but happy too, I deserve a little congratulations from myself to myself.

Below is an excerpt of this weekly email I get from Mamalife. It's a very modern, fun newsletter and apparantely they don't send them anymore after your baby is a year, so it's their final congratulations one and I appreciated it.

"congratulations, mama!
You made it through the first year! Take the time to reflect how far you've come. Remember when you had no idea how to feed a newborn, let alone soothe one? Or when you were terrified that you were somehow going to break the baby? Or when you were just starting to figure out how being a mama fit into your old life?

Well, you've come a long way and you're now one savvy mama. Your baby is so lucky to have you.

Enjoy the coming years of wonder as you watch your little one develop and grow into his own person. But remember to go easy on yourself as you both navigate each new step. Balancing all the wonderful facets of mamahood will be an ongoing adventure (and no, it won’t end when she leaves for college). You are truly doing an amazing thing – so give yourself credit, celebrate every achievement and enjoy your mama life.

go mama go!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLA!!! I love you more than I could even begin to describe! It's going to be a great first birthday!